An Obituary

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, but in times past he walked with great men and had a long and productive history.
He will be remembered as having imparted many valuable lessons, such as: Knowing when to come in out of the rain; Why the early bird gets the worm; Life isn't always fair; and Maybe it was actually my fault afer all.
Common Sense lived by simple, sound principles. He planned and set goals, never spent more than he earned and always believed that adults, not children, were in charge. In life he was seldom overtaken by events because he always considered the consequences of each action and was careful never to overlook the obvious.
His health started to fail when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were put in place. News reports of a 6-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash and playground conker tournaments banned on health and safety grounds caused him much distress.
He declined further when teachers were required to obtain consent to administer sun lotion or an Aspirin to a student but could not inform her parents when the girl became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion. And although he continued bravely to speak out his voice grew faint, possibly as a result of being beaten frequently about the head with The Rule Book by those who hide behind it as an alternative to independent thought.
His condition became grave as the churches became businesses, criminals received better treatment than their victims and you could no longer defend yourself from a burglar in your own home because the burglar might sue you for assault.
Our friend finally lost the will to live when a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of fresh coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, sued the restaurant and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.
Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; by his wife, Discretion, his daughter, Responsibility, and by his son, Reason. He is, however, survived by his four stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, I Want It Now, It's not my fault, and I'm A Victim. All four of these are now squabbling over his legacy.
Not many attended his funeral because, sadly, so few realized he was gone. If you still remember him, please spare a moment to reflect on his passing. If not; join the majority, shrug your shoulders and do nothing.